My “Top Nine Pro-Stuff List”
I waste countless hours browsing on the computer. Most of the time, it is just digging through the trash. I have watched Tubby Nugget, Simon’s Cat, and Lucas the Spider videos, and it is hard to pass up any videos containing babies, kittens, or puppies. Most evenings, surfing in my recliner is just a mind-numbing waste of time.
Recently, however, I stumbled upon a graduation speech by Australian comedian, actor, writer, and musician Tim Minchin. In his speech, he provided nine life lessons ranging from “Be Kind” to “Exercise,” sprinkling his message with plenty of metaphors and humor. Some good common sense, and not too preachy—it seemed to be a good fit for the audience of new graduates and likely had a little bit of wisdom for everyone. If you would like to watch the video, it can be found at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoEezZD71sc.
Of his nine lessons, #7 piqued my interest, and I decided to spend a little additional time considering his advice to “Define Yourself by What You Love—Be Pro-Stuff, Not Just Anti-Stuff.”
In no particular order, here is my Top Nine Pro-Stuff List:
1. Pro-Library and Bookstore
My love of reading started early. When I was in grade school, my parents would strictly enforce bedtime, but I was allowed to lie in bed with a book and a small flashlight. Books were the only way to avoid the call for “lights out and go to sleep,” and I would flip through the pages of books borrowed from the school library and escape to a different place and time.
Over the years, the school library has been replaced by Barnes & Noble and Amazon, but I still find books are a great way to end a day. The smell and feel of the pages reduce stress before the first chapter is finished. As I age, however, I find that books and libraries serve a purpose far greater than avoiding bedtime or simple relaxation.
Benjamin Franklin said, “These libraries have improved the general conversation of the Americans … and made the common tradesmen and farmers as intelligent as most gentlemen from other countries.” Thomas Jefferson said, “Wherever the people are well informed, they may be trusted with their own government.”
Our next leaders should be avid readers found in libraries or bookstores, surrounded by books containing the experiences of the past and the dreams of the future—not standing by a pile of banned books with a match. It is also our civic duty as Americans to “get the full story” and understand all sides of an issue (reading required)—and not cast our votes based on information gathered from a meme or sound bite.
2. Pro-Travel
[Note: Before the complaints start flying, I love America. As a country, we have done some incredible things, but travel will make you realize that the U.S. does not have a monopoly on “greatness.”]
Mark Twain wrote: “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.”
In my opinion, Mark Twain was absolutely correct, but let me provide you with some things to consider:
- As you hit your third pothole or pass your 1,000th orange construction barrel on the highway, realize that there are still Roman highways you could drive upon after 2,000 years.
- As you sit for hours in traffic around Washington, D.C., or Los Angeles, realize that nearly all residents in Japan live within five minutes (in a few areas it may be ten) of a train station, and the average delay is less than one minute per year. Since you will be sitting in that traffic for a while, you can also consider that Amsterdam has more bikes than people and hundreds of miles of bike paths.
- As you put money into savings for college tuition or pay that student loan, realize college tuition is free in Denmark. In fact, students are paid (about $800/month) to go to school.
- As you look at that overflowing trash can at the park, realize Stockholm has a vacuum system connected to many of their trash cans to pull trash directly to processing plants.
Bonus 2. Pro-Travel Upgrade: I am usually crammed into a tiny seat on the plane, but if you get the travel miles or work bonus, splurge on business class. After seeing the advertisements for air travel from 1950 to 1970, I’m not sure how we ended up in the cattle-car conditions of economy class today.
3. Pro-NPR and PBS
Living in the country with reception for only three TV channels, I do not remember watching much Sesame Street or Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. My granddaughters, however, benefited from PBS educational programming, and they loved to watch Elmo.
I also spent hours on long car drives listening to NPR. My favorite programs were Paul Harvey’s The Rest of the Story and Garrison Keillor’s News from Lake Wobegon. It is clear to me that NPR and PBS serve educational and entertainment purposes now, just as they have for decades. It is a shame that their funding always seems to be under attack. You might want to take a minute and watch Mr. Rogers defend PBS funding in his 1969 Senate testimony: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKy7ljRr0AA.
Bonus 3. Pro-Old Sitcoms: I will gladly watch reruns of The Andy Griffith Show, Happy Days, MASH, Cheers, or Friends before watching any reality TV programming. I will choose Arthur Fonzarelli over Kim Kardashian any day of the week.
4. Pro-Arts
My parents made sure that my sister and I were always exposed to the arts as children. I remember going to see shows at the local theater, watching a barbershop quartet competition, and going to an opera. I also remember watching my Grandpa Patton create wood carvings and my Grandma Patton paint china teacups. Their works still have a place of honor in my house.
I did not inherit their artistic gene. I cannot sing, dance, paint, sculpt, or perform in any way, but I admire those who can. If we get the chance, my wife and I love to watch a good musical on Broadway or in London’s West End. Wicked, Grease, and Mamma Mia! were great at the theater; and we liked watching Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady and Yul Brynner in The King and I on TV.
During a recent trip to Salzburg, Austria, my wife and I took The Sound of Music Tour. The film is still one of my favorites, and I try to watch it each year at Thanksgiving. While stationed in the U.S., I loved seeing the Boston Pops Christmas show, and my wife and I regularly attended the Hawaii Symphony performances. In Italy, I have also seen the works of some fabulous sculptors. The Veiled Christ by Giuseppe Sanmartino is one of my favorite sculptures, found in the Sansevero Chapel Museum in Naples.
When I retire, I might take a shot at painting or sculpting. I’m always up for a new challenge. Until then, the best I can do is watch and support those with far greater artistic skill.
5. Pro-Science
In a time when opinions instead of facts control the headlines, I support the professionals who do the hard work and protect the truth. In a country where conspiracy theories instead of evidence flood social media, I am glad that there are people holding the line for fact-based reporting. In an environment where politics, instead of research, could determine the health and well-being of our most vulnerable citizens, I will support the scientists and doctors who speak based on years of schooling and a lifetime of experience.
I think of it this way—if I’m on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and I get asked a tough question about primates, who do I use for my “phone a friend”? Do I get my primate advice from a politician? (Remember Hank Johnson, a Democratic Congressman from Georgia, made comments about Guam capsizing from overcrowding during a Congressional hearing.) I’ll pass on getting any scientific advice from a man who believes islands can flip, and I’ll have them dial Dr. Jane Goodall, who studied chimpanzees in the wild for more than 60 years.
I think of my health the same way—since I believe being healthy is worth more than a million dollars. If I get cancer, I will not be seeking medical advice from politicians, lawyers, or social media influencers for treatment recommendations—I will be looking for an oncologist with 60 years of experience.
6. Pro-Coffee
It is early on a Sunday morning after a late Saturday night, so I have decided that I am now a big coffee supporter. This was not always the case. In college, I didn’t care for the taste of coffee. I thought it was too bitter. I would still drink it, but I would add four heaping spoons of sugar and a large amount of creamer. The resulting concoction could hardly be called coffee.
Once I joined the Navy and arrived at my first ship, coffee became a way of life—and I slowly quit using sugar and creamer. Navy coffee is strong, and served from a multi-gallon urn. I’m not sure if the urn was ever washed. When the pot got low, more water was poured inside over the remaining coffee, a new pile of grounds was added to the basket, and the brewing process started again.
Now, I am not too picky. I’m certainly not a coffee snob. I can still enjoy a cup from a ship that has been brewing for hours or days, but I also won’t decline an overpriced Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte.
I have also come to enjoy the coffee culture in Italy. The coffee bar is a meeting place to socialize. It is like taking a smoke break—without the adverse health impacts. It is also fun trying to learn all of the unwritten Italian coffee rules: “no cappuccino after 11:00—espresso all day” and “caffè americano is just dirty water, unfit to drink.” You can also afford to practice these rules often in Italy—an espresso costs less than $1.50. No need to shell out $6 for a Pumpkin Spice Latte.
7. Pro-Movies
I love to watch movies. From sci-fi/fantasy to rom-com, I am more than happy to spend a few hours watching a story unfold with a bucket of popcorn and a box of Sno-Caps in my hands.
I can still remember some of my favorite movie experiences, like my Uncle Terry and Aunt Vicky buying me ice cream and taking me to see the first Rocky movie at the theater. I remember my mom taking my sister and me to see National Lampoon’s Vacation as a way to avoid the heat and get out of the house for a few hours. I also remember watching the saddest movie ever—Brian’s Song (a rerun on TV since it was released in 1971).
Here are a few of my favorite genres, even if they never win Oscars or become chart-topping blockbusters:
- Sports Comedies: Slap Shot with the Hanson Brothers was one of the first I remember. Kevin Costner in Bull Durham and Tin Cup and Keanu Reeves in The Replacements were great ones. More recently, Adam Sandler has been successful with Happy Gilmore. It is impossible to be a sports fan in Ohio without mentioning Charlie Sheen’s portrayal of Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn in Major League.
- Zombie Movies: Watching the undead has become a recent pastime for my wife and me. With Netflix, we can now watch horror from around the globe. We have watched some of the early American movies like Night of the Living Dead. While we were dating, we spent a Saturday afternoon watching Resident Evil. Our favorite zombie movie so far has been a Korean film: Train to Busan.
- Sci-Fi C-List and D-List Movies: Growing up, I enjoyed the old Godzilla movies. Later, I would make my girlfriend (now my wife) sit through all of the low-budget movies on the Syfy channel. I loved all of the Sharknado films and all of the shark movies that followed: Sharktopus; 2-, 3-, 5-, 6-Headed Shark Attacks; Trailer Park Shark; and Malibu Shark Attack. There was also Steve Guttenberg in Lavalantula and 2Lava 2Lantula, and if you preferred ’80s pop stars Debbie Gibson and Tiffany: Mega Python vs. Gatoroid.
8. Pro-Cookout
I have been to some great restaurants with fancy food and fancy drinks—but nothing beats a good Ohio cookout with family. If I could combine all of my families into a single event, this would be the perfect menu:
- Starters: Deviled eggs. I can eat a dozen by myself, so my niece Holly and her chickens need to be busy to provide the raw material. My sister Jamie has become a whiz in the kitchen, so I’ll leave the prep to her. I would also try to convince my Aunt Judy to bring her 7-layer dip and stuffed mushrooms.
- Main course: Cheeseburgers on the grill. I just had a burger with mustard and mushrooms made by my wife, and it was spectacular. If the weather is bad, I would gladly substitute some Italian sausages made by my Aunt Denise (I tried plenty in Italy, but hers are still the best).
- Sides: My Aunt Vicky’s macaroni salad (best in the world).
- Dessert: Apple pie by my dad’s wife, Pam. (If still alive, Grandma Weber’s blackberry, elderberry, or rhubarb pies were also pretty great.) All pies would be served with Uncle Terry’s homemade ice cream.
Setting: Any large backyard with picnic tables or lawn chairs would suffice. At night, throw in a little music and lighting by the tree frogs and lightning bugs (or, for you Westerners, fireflies). Everybody is welcome to attend. Dress code: casual—shoes optional.
9. Pro-Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI)
I want to live in a world and country where DEI policies are not required. It would be amazing if skill and expertise—not race, color, gender, sexual orientation, or age—were the factors that determined college acceptance or employment opportunities. It would be great if job interviews were like blind taste tests—flavor and performance the only considerations for a decision.
For now, however, blind decisions are not always made. As a result, many people are often excluded from screening based on their appearance, origin, or sexual orientation before there is any consideration of their capabilities.
When done correctly, DEI is not a method of getting a lesser-qualified minority into a college or position—it is a way to ensure that they are not excluded from the competition early based on appearance, so a decision can be made fairly based on skill alone.
I don’t want medical schools or Fortune 500 companies pre-screening so that white men (with rich alumni parents) are the only ones to get interviews. Someday, these individuals will be saving me from a heart attack or managing my retirement account—and I can tell you for certain that it will be their skills, not their appearance, that concern me.
The Great Experiment 
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